Hey Fletch … We are hiring a part-timer in the tech area. The candidate is a great person, well qualified and a new believer. The issue is that I think he is living with his girlfriend. If he is, this goes against our staff code of conduct. What should I do?
Fletch—This is a great discipleship opportunity. Plus, there are some employment issues that need to be considered. Let’s start with those.
As to employment, a church can hire people of like faith. You don’t have to accept just any candidate that applies. The term, like faith, applies to both doctrine and practice. Your church’s Code of Conduct is a statement of how you expect your employees to live. The key is to hold all employees to the same standard of conduct. You don’t want to deny employment to this man for living with his girlfriend, but allow it with other employees. You want to fairly apply your standards to every employee.
As to this situation, this is a wonderful time to meet in person with him. Show him your code of conduct. Read through it with him. Explain not only the what but the why of each standard. In this case, carefully describe how you envision God’s best for marriage. Also tell of how you help people whose marriages are not working or have fallen apart. Show God’s path to wholeness and a fulfilled life, as seen in the gospel and your Code of Conduct.
You may find that he is not living with his girlfriend. Or, on his own he might point out his live-in situation when you come to the marriage section of your Code of Conduct. This is the opportunity to help. It may be that the couple plans on marrying in a few months. They may need pre-marital coaching from your church. You could provide funds for him to rent a new apartment, or find a room with someone in your church. Talk over his specific issues and how you can help.
If the couple is living together, meet with both of them. Take along a woman who can meet with the girlfriend. See how your church can help on her spiritual journey. The girlfriend may have seen changes in her boyfriend since he became a follower of Christ. She may have questions about what this means and the significance of it.
You have a wonderful opportunity to present a wholistic view of the Christian life. Let me know how it goes!
