What Is Ours to Do When We Let Staff Members Go?
A blanket of sadness covered the office that Thursday as we waited anxiously to know whose names would be called. It was eerily quiet for a staff of 15 who shared an entire floor of the church building. The hustle between offices and the conversations that normally filled hallways was noticeably absent. We knew that today was the day that layoffs were coming.
The painful and sudden departure of our senior pastor a year before, the recession that reduced our giving, and the outsized debt load our church carried had left our executive minister with the impossible task of choosing 5 of the 15 staff members to lay off. My executive minister and I had the kind of relationship that, when he entered the office at the end of the day, I presumed it was to debrief the day. Doubtless he would need a pastor to pastor him for a few moments. I waited silently for him to begin the list of names he had spoken with that day. He began with Becky and Jami and listed two other names I honestly don’t remember. That memory is lost in the fifth name he gave me: mine.
Not all departures are as dramatic as mine. Still, in a season of declining giving and shrinking churches, we must ask ourselves if we are prepared for the downsizing that awaits us. How are we to help our staff members leave? And how can we mitigate the multi-faceted pain resulting from departures from a church staff?
First, a note. In the aftermath of the layoffs, my executive pastor requested a follow-up conversation. He felt the need to inform me that he was prepared to name himself as the final layoff. It was a noble if ill-timed thing to say, but in hindsight he made the wise decision: a church experiencing the pain of departing staff members needs not only care but also someone at the helm. If at all possible, do not eliminate your own position.
Here’s a short list to begin your church’s process for helping pastors leave well.
Celebrate the Ministry
Unless there was sexual or ethical failure, publicly celebrate your pastor’s ministry. Seasons of grief accompany pastoral departures; they are life transitions for pastor and church. Like all life transitions, we entrust our grief to our pastors. We ask them to help us have closure. Pastoral departures should be no exception. While it’s easy to celebrate beloved pastors, the messier departures often result in quiet absence rather than healthy closure.
If celebrating a complicated departure feels disingenuous, perhaps we can inwardly acknowledge the correct decision to facilitate the departure while still celebrating the work done in the name of Jesus. Someone in your church is grieving the pastor’s departure; they will need this moment as much as the pastor.
Provide Help
Provide an allowance for pastoral and/or psychological help. This allowance should be above and beyond any severance, it should be in cash, and it should come with a referral to a respected organization or professional. Just because they are leaving our professional circle does not release us from the care we extend to our sisters and brothers in Christ.
It may not be ours to hold them accountable to getting professional help, but we can acknowledge the pain of leaving and the impending struggles that await a recently departed minister.
Check In
Wisely choose someone to check in periodically after her/his departure. We should not assume this will happen organically, either from the minister’s professional network or from the deeper relationships formed while working at your church. The relational reality for pastors is that they are now out of sight, out of mind. A series of posts could be written on the objectification of pastors and their ministry.
One symptom of that objectification is that the ripped relational threads a departed pastor feels are very different from those who remain at your church. In the wake of a pastor’s departure, other relationships at your church will quickly fill the void experienced by congregants. The departed pastor has no such community to alleviate her/his isolation.
Caution
Be cautious about immediately referring your departed pastor to other churches. We carry our vocational experiences with us to our next job. We will either carry them in a neatly packed suitcase resulting from the hard inner work that follows painful transitions, or we will carry every pain, anguish, and unresolved conflict haphazardly hanging out of that suitcase.
If our grief isn’t carefully and intentionally traveling with us, it will injure others. A minister is unlikely to be emotionally and spiritually prepared to quickly re-enter another pastorate. You may do more harm than good in helping them land quickly. Help them land well. Hurt people inevitably hurt people.
What would you add? What has experience taught you about the more painful departures pastors sometimes experience?
