by Stan Endicott and Dave Rhodes
The Conversation Everyone is Having that No One is Talking About
What might that be?
The Answer: People In Your Church Who Are 55+
They are present but invisible. They are part of something that they are not a part of.
They’re like customers who frequent a store who are welcome to enter and browse, but there’s really nothing in the store that piques their interest. There are lots of smiles and hellos, but no conversations. The only offering may be to suggest where else they can go to find what they’re looking for. This is not a good solution.
Churches seem to ignore the realities of their older members. In their determination to stay younger and to make modern and/or contemporary art their aim, they leave older people to remain in their pews and call them to simply be compliant and tolerant. The sad scenario is there are likely more opportunities for these older people to live an energized life, outside the church.
I recently sent an email to several executive pastors of churches with an average attendance between 2,000-15,000 attendees, asking this question:
What 10 topics are most often included in your weekly staff meetings?
The list consistently included team health, weekend services, finances, discipleship, leadership development and attendance. No surprise. Not one church mentioned the 55+ age demographic as a topic of conversation. I wasn’t surprised to find this out either, but it did make me wonder why this was the case. I’ve often found in my own life that looking back on important conversations, that could have happened yet were dismissed or avoided, is a helpful lens to look through to not miss God’s nudging.
The Conversation Your Church Might Be Missing Out On
“Wisdom @ Work”—The Making of the Modern Elder
The business world is talking about it. With record numbers of executives reaching the age of retirement and younger leaders taking their positions when they do, businesses are finding themselves in a wisdom deficit. And they are doing something about it. Many businesses now find themselves contracting out or bringing back in the older generation to mentor their young leaders in significant ways. Chip Conley is one of those older leaders. Once the CEO of a prominent hotel chain, he found renewed energy when the founders of Airbnb brought him in to be what he calls a “mentern” (mentor and intern). In his book, Wisdom at Work, The Making of the Modern Elder Conley says: Wisdom of older people is one of the few natural resources globally that is increasing, not declining. Now is the perfect time for elders to make a comeback, thanks to their ability to synthesize wise, empathetic solutions that no robot could ever imagine. Wisdom isn’t rare, but it can be hard to access, like diamonds, unless you’ve developed the tools needed to dig for it.
Bobb Biehl—Decade by Decade
Executive coaches are talking about it. Bobb Biehl, a nationally renowned coach and consultant to many executive leaders suggests that the most productive decades of a person’s life are their 60’s and 70’s. Many find this idea surprising and relieving at the same time. But this observation is not built simply on a hope or good idea. It is built upon his experience in coaching over 5,000 leaders and watching it become normal for these leaders to do their most productive work in these decades.
Wheaton College Billy Graham Center
One Evangelistic organization is beginning to talk about it. Andrew Cook, the Executive Director of The Wheaton College Billy Graham Center, says:
Since our founding in 1980, the Wheaton College Billy Graham Center has sought to equip every believer and every church to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our research focuses on “unreached people groups” either around the world or within our North American communities. It is this incessant curiosity about reaching new communities that initially drew me to the idea of reaching the 55+ community. This idea may be one of the most significant evangelistic opportunities in decades. Our team contacted other national research partners, hoping to find credible data. We found very little. In fact, despite millions of dollars in research invested in understanding emerging generations, we know very little about the spiritual needs of retiring adults. Corporations and healthcare industries are preparing to serve this growing market. The further I’ve looked, the more convinced I’ve become that this is an under-researched and under-reached people group—and a ripe opportunity for ministry.
The Silent Conversation Happening in Your Church
People in your church are talking about it. I’ve heard them. Maybe not in your church but in mine. And in churches like mine and yours that I’ve consulted all around the country. What most church leaders vastly underestimate is the way that most adults relate to their church. Most adults relate to a church through their children. And once their children have left their homes, leaving them empty-nesters, an interesting phenomenon begins to take place. They go to church, and everything changes for them. They find themselves in a liminal space wondering how to relate to the same place they have called home for sometimes dozens of years. Once they have grandchildren the liminal space becomes even more prominent. They consider moving to the lake or the beach. The possibility of travel becomes more attractive. They show up on Sunday but aren’t sure they really fit there anymore. They aren’t ready to join the Free Birds class. And have no desire to go to Branson, MO. They aren’t elderly. They are the young-old generation but it feels like the church doesn’t really have much to offer them—much less a vision for mobilizing them as an eldering movement. And every so often—and sometimes more often than not—the conversation on their way home from church turns into a discussion of whether they should start looking for a different church, or maybe a different place to live.
The Transition Problem
Sociologists are talking about it. In fact, they even have a name for the liminal space that starts to occur in this season of life. It’s called The Three-Quarter Life Crisis. And it’s the place a lot of people get stuck. What is hinted at when people become empty-nesters often becomes a full blown crisis about 6 months after retirement. They run through the tape at the finish line of a long marathon of work. They celebrate. They party. They play golf and travel. And then they find themselves … bored out of their mind. Even the most high-powered leaders find themselves stuck. They aren’t done but the world keeps telling them they are.
But they don’t know what to do. Too often they find themselves watching endless hours of News on television, wondering the whole time how their life turned into this.
Churches get stuck too. Rather than helping their people through this important life transition and mobilizing them as a missional force in their world, they simply don’t understand why this group of people isn’t just doing what they have always done. Why won’t they serve in the Youth Ministry anymore? Why won’t they volunteer in the Kid’s Ministry? In the end, most pastoral staff teams just conclude that these people are no longer committed to their church.
What If?
But what if what the church perceives is wrong? My experience from multiple conversations in multiple places tells me not that these people are less committed. They are differently committed. Not less, just different. Their schedules are different. They are going to travel to see their grandkids. They are enjoying a new level of freedom. And potentially they are stepping into the greatest missional opportunity of their lives—but neither they nor their church see it. They know they are not ready to sign back up to volunteer in youth ministry but that doesn’t mean they don’t long to make a difference with their lives. They wish someone would see the true value they have to offer. They silently desire that someone would help them get unstuck. But because no one offers and no one really listens into their life enough to ask them for more than their money or to fill the hole in the church’s volunteer drainpipe, they cycle in and out of our doors.
But what if Bobb Biehl is right? What if the 60’s and 70’s are the most productive years of a person’s life? And what if the church saw it and intentionally stepped into it to help these people gain traction in their most important life transition?
Bishop Joseph Garlington, founder of Covenant Church of Pittsburgh, told me:
Nothing comes into existence that is not spoken first.” God spoke everything into existence. So maybe there is a conversation that could happen that would make its way throughout the Church to help leaders consider this remarkable silent community.
Our world is in desperate need of an eldering movement that transfers both wisdom and wealth to the next generation. This transfer contributes both to fulfillment of life for elders and increases productivity for today’s leader. The question is not just if this transfer will occur, but even if it does occur, will it happen without Jesus at the center of it? We believe we are living at the epicenter of a potential cultural earthquake in which the gospel and leadership are needed to navigate this daunting reality.
The Grand Plan
For the past two years we have researched, collaborated, observed, strategized and initiated hundreds of calls with church leaders. The “elephant in the room” surprise was, this important 55+ topic was simply either overlooked or not a priority. The silence was deafening.
Lots of time and energy have been spent trying to take the gospel to unreached people groups. But is it possible that one of the largest unreached people groups in the world is not an ethnic or geographic people, but a people group that is often overlooked—people entering their last quarter of life?
This may be the greatest missional opportunity in our generation!
Theologian James Fowler says, Perhaps this seems odd to you, because people often become more skeptical of ‘magical’ things. Nobody over 10, let alone 40, believes in the Easter Bunny, but it is strikingly common to find religious yearnings creeping in during one’s 40s and 50s or later. For many, the metaphysical begins to feel real as we get older.
We believe that for such a time as this God is raising up churches like yours and church leaders like you to start having this important conversation.
The Opportunity is Growing
In 2006, the first of nearly 76 million Boomers turned 60 and 10,000 people every day are entering Social Security. It’s larger than the entire population of the United Kingdom. By 2030, all Boomers will be older than 65. Economist Lawrence Kotlikoff and journalist Scott Burns predict that by 2030, when 77 million Baby Boomers hobble into old age, walkers will outnumber strollers—a humorous comment about a serious reality!
For many 55+, loneliness is increasing, and happiness is decreasing.
We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true will at evening have become a lie. Carl Jung
The conversation is growing. Your church can be part of it. It’s the conversation that everyone is having, don’t let your church be the only place in your community not talking about it.
Stan Endicott and Dave Rhodes are two of the Founding Partners of a new venture called The Grand Plan. The Grand Plan was founded to help churches and organizations mobilize their people to become 4th Quarter Ready—making their greatest impact in the last quarter of their lives. The mission of the Grand Plan is helping people gain traction in their most important life transition. For more information on how your church can partner with The Grand Plan go to mygrandplan.org.
